So there I was at Publix last week, dutifully examining the fat content of various peanut butters..trying hard to ignore the in-store pharmacy at the end of the aisle with its big, colorful, in your face sign..
GET $10 off your groceries when you get the flu shot today!
I should get it–no I shouldn’t–I don’t have time–oh yes I do–my ice cream will melt–I don’t have any–what’s my problem?–I don’t know!!
I plopped two jars of 100% ground (totally overpriced) peanuts into my cart and rounded the corner with my head down like I was trying to avoid an ex-boyfriend. “I’ll get that stupid shot next time..” I growled to myself as the vice-grip on my stomach began to unwind.
“What the heck is the matter with me ??” I asked my friend as I drove home, “I get that shot every year! Why did I (literally) fall into a total panic at the thought of getting it THIS year??” We both blamed my ‘freak-out’ on Covid because.. you know.. some of us are but shadows of our former, not insane, selves.
When I got to the house I announced to my husband (who already had the flu shot, the shingles shot, the pneumonia shot and probably a few tequila shots) that one of these days we’d have to go on a hot date to the pharmacy for my inoculation.. I needed him there in case I passed out or vomited or just suddenly stumbled backwards (towards the peanut butters) and died right on the spot. I mean seriously, who they gonna call for that kind of clean-up on aisle 14?
Fast forward to yesterday…
I’m one of like 10 people in the entire store cause there’s basically a wanna-be tornado hurling hail bombs against the building. I’m back near the peanut butters again.. pretending to look at all the jellies.. and there is literally NO ONE at the pharmacy..
My stomach starts to twist, my mind starts to race..
I ask myself: “Cindy, what would Ruth Bader Ginsburg do?”
(So, no..I didn’t actually ask that to be honest..I asked myself how much longer they’d be handing out that $10 coupon..)
I did it..
I just marched right over there and did it..
I got the shot.
“How’d it go?” My friend asked in response to my victory text.
“Well,” I replied, “I was overcome with nausea, broke into a cold sweat, felt weak in the knees, had heart palpitations and, most concerningly, numbness and tingling on the left side of my face that extended down to my elbow.. but I didn’t let any of that stop me from getting it!”
That’s right friends, I untwisted my knotted panties, breathed into my full-body panic, sat in that little chair next to the blood pressure machine and did it…and I’m glad I did.. you know why?
Not just because I’m protected from the flu, but because I’m not about to let Covid turn me into some scaredy cat. All this fretting about what to wipe, what to eat, what to touch, what to wear, where to shop, whom to visit, how to get there and on and on.. it’s all making me a nervous nilly.
I don’t want to be that person.
take THAT Covid..take THAT flu..and take THAT wimpy alter ego!!
I’ve got my mask on,
hand sanitizer in my pocket,
a spare pair of underwear in my purse
and I’m ready to..
vote by mail.
IN A PANIC???