So there we were on final approach coming in for breakfast on our kayak. It had been a lovely morning paddle: smooth water, light breeze, a few good hits on the fishing pole, not another soul within miles except for one lone paddle boarder who looked as if she was starting to head back to the same resort we were staying at.
Out of respect for the beauty and solitude of the moment, we slowed down to give the woman plenty of space to bring herself back to shore in a stress-free manner.
And then, suddenly, all paddling stopped and she whipped out her phone to pose for selfies.
I could see her shifting her hips from one side to the other..then the paddle came up next to her left leg, then the right.. her arm stretched out in front, then to the side..then the other side..
then a few facial close-ups..
“Ahh yes tower..this is Kayak One Niner on approach to the resort.. It seems we have some selfie traffic up ahead. Would you like us to circle around a few times out here over open water or can you send up a flare to remind “Ms. Instagram 2020″ that now would be a good time to land in the sand?”
Right on cue (not even kidding) a man walks up to the edge of the water and (not even kidding again) starts taking more pictures of this self-absorbed mermaid who clearly has no idea we are now closing in on her personal photo shoot.
“Tower, this is Kayak One Niner again.. can you tell Aqua-man to hurry this sea goddess along out here? We need to bring this heavy in asap..Had a large coffee this morning tower.. just sayin’.”
Finally..FINALLY..this primadonna hops off the board and her man drags it in. As we come in behind her, it dawns on me who this is..
Why YES! This is the primamomma of half the battalion of wild children at the hotel (See yesterday’s post here) whose sand toys and sandals are still strewn all over the beach where they left them yesterday after their epic, sunset, sand fight!
And suddenly, it all makes perfect sense..🙄