This is a story about two deaths in one week; one of them expected, one of them not, none of them Covid related.
These two women were dear friends of my mother, one of them suffering for years with a collection of debilitating illnesses; the other one (at 83, the youngest in the group) a sassy former New Yorker and the sole care-taker for her husband who is fully engulfed in Alzheimers.
One of them was told the end was coming and sure enough, it came within days. My mom was able to tell her she loved her at the end of their final phone conversation. Her last words to my mother were “I love you too, but I gotta go.. the doctor is here.”
The end came without any warning for the other; their final phone conversation was about how important it was to use hand sanitizer. Her last words to my mother were what they have always been lately..”I don’t know… I just don’t know..’
As my husband and I stood next to the grave site yesterday, it struck me how excruciatingly hard it is to be elderly…at any time really, but especially now. Life and death have never been more lonely for them and we have never been more distracted with so many things that are personally important to us..and so many things that are not.