Anyone else up?
I’m sure I’m not alone..mind full of thoughts.
Before I woke up I had a dream that I was at the grocery store with my 88 year old mom who was looking for some special cream. We kept racing up and down crowded aisles bumping into people with masks on. My mom insisted on pushing one of those carts with the fake plastic kiddie-sports car attached to it, and we couldn’t move the sucker past the throngs of people. I was so, so frustrated and we couldn’t find the cream because nothing was in its usual place.
SO yeah..interpret that! Nothing in its usual place..
I guess that’s the underlying concern for many of us right now..the feeling that things are changing, spinning away from us in ways that were unimaginable just weeks (or even days) ago. The talks with my mom have gone from no more eating at Paneras to you can’t go anywhere anymore and no one should come into your house. Mom’s 55 and older community just sent out an e-mail last night saying they are shutting down and discouraging all visitors- friends and family alike – from entering the community.
One minute it all seems over the top, the next minute it’s not.
One day you’re arguing with your husband over tickets to a play you aren’t comfortable attending anymore, the next day the theater is closed until further notice.
I’m reminded of the feeling I had when I drove down from Ft. Lauderdale to see what was left of our home six weeks after Hurricane Andrew ravaged Miami back in ’92. Dogs were still running loose in the street, the landscape was unrecognizable and military helicopters buzzed overhead.
It didn’t take long to get lost once I left the highway even though I knew I was close to our neighborhood. I kept driving through mazes of debris and chaos trying to figure out where the heck I was and which way to go. I’ll never forget the rush of relief when I finally saw a landmark I immediately recognized- it was the Olan Mills Photography studio with it’s large round window in the front.. There was no roof or signage, but that round hole was still there in that concrete wall and once I saw it, I knew exactly where I was and how to get home.
So yeah..lots is going to change for us (at least for a while) and that’s upsetting. But if we focus on the landmarks in our lives: the things, habits and relationships that will remain constant, this will help keep us steady and guide us through.
When I finally found our home that day all those years ago I was overcome with nausea and tears. One look at it all and I knew we were in for a long, exhausting chapter in our lives.
What I didn’t know was how much good could spring forth from so much wreckage..not just for us, but for many others. It’s hard to imagine, but good can blossom from bad and oftentimes we become much better people because of the hardships we face together. Lessons are learned, priorities change, back bones are strengthened and relationships deepen.
Do the right thing for the good of many and we will get through this.