You know how sometimes you get a strong feeling before making a decision? Kinda like “don’t do it..don’t do it, DON’T DO IT!!?”

Well, I got that feeling the other day as I stood in a long, long check out line at Walmart. Next to me was a self service lane with just one woman finishing up her order. Her older son was repeatedly slapping the younger one on the side of his head and she was taking breaks to scold him. “What are you a  two year old?” she growled as she finally grabbed her receipt. Believe it or not, I was actually thrilled to see a mother attempt to discipline her kid.

The self check-out  lane was now empty while my line had not moved an inch..

“Don’t do it, don’t do it, DON’T DO IT!”

I ignored my inner voice, pushed my cart over to the empty aisle and began checking out my own stuff. Everything was going well until the bleach registered twice. I found a button to delete one of the bottles, pressed it and the system froze. The overhead cop-car light started flashing..

and I started waiting.

After about three minutes help arrived.  The annoyed woman pressed her ID card against the screen, punched in a few numbers and the machine got back to work..until I swiped my eyebrow pencil and it instantly locked up again..

I waited again.

Then it choked on my bag of limes..

I waited.

There must have been a rolling shift change happening because the waits kept getting longer and new people kept showing up.  The line at the manned register next to me had long disappeared and the cashier was windexing her station.

Deodorant..

beep..

system break-down..

wait.

By the time the last guy came over to help me, I had crossed the river Styx into the  underworld of my shadowy, lesser self. I told him I’d never do self check-out again and boy was I lucky I wasn’t buying ice cream!  He took that as an opening to give me a tutorial about check-out machines..and it went on and on..

and on..

and on.

Somewhere in the distance a child was screeching at the tippy-top of her lungs..

or was that me??