Hold that thought!


My husband is in a rush.

I’m in the kitchen, boiling water for his “tea-to-go” and checking my e-mail.

The estimate to install the tile just popped up in my in-box and it’s high..

really high.

My husband flies down the stairs, splashes some cream into his steaming travel mug and charges for the door.

I give him a kiss and tell him to have a great day..

No one would ever guess, but I just completed my first work-out of the morning.

It has taken me 50 years to understand and appreciate the importance of timing. I have no idea why this has been so difficult, but just as with any challenging exercise done regularly, it’s definitely paying off.

Saving comments, suggestions, criticism and just plain old information (like the tile quote) for moments when they will be better received is akin to holding a yoga pose- it can be tough! What’s been interesting too is discovering that sometimes that “better moment” never arrives and the urgency (or reason) to share eventually expires as well.

And before you think that learning the art of “fine-timing” is simply all about me trying to improve my chances of getting what I want, well let me assure you, that’s only half the story..okay, so maybe 3/4…


The truth is that I am also learning to critically evaluate not only the importance of what comes out of my mouth, when it comes out of my mouth, but the potential effects of what comes out of my mouth on others.

Will this help?

Will this cause anxiety, anger, frustration?

Does this person need to hear this right now?

Will this be a drag on their day or lift them up?

Does this matter …at all?

Am I simply venting or gossiping?

Do I have the full story?

Another fellow is coming today to give me one more estimate on the cost of laying our tile. His numbers will help me develop a better picture of how much a job like this should actually cost. If his figure is high as well, my husband will probably want to rent that scary, messy, loud machine and do the tile himself.

This is a conversation we can have this week-end over a beer.

Until then, I’m going to watch you-tube tile tutorials and wait for the second quote to come in…

And oh yeah, hold my tongue.


Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.-Ephesians 4:29







10 Comments Add yours

  1. Kimberly says:

    That is just so spot on with what I have been challenged to do over the past few weeks! Thanks for sharing and reminding me of the lasting effects of not only what information I choose to share….but also how the when is so very important in how the information is received!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Cindy says:

      SOO important..and so hard Kim..but I really am getting better at this because the benefits are so obvious! Timing really IS everything.. 👍


  2. hmunro says:

    I’m going to print out your post, Cindy, and carry it with me until I memorize it. (Seriously. I’m only very slightly exaggerating!) In our age of social media I think almost all of us are getting into the habit of sharing whatever is on our minds, whenever it comes to mind. But that can be disastrous in our close relationships. Thank you for this wonderful reminder — and especially for the “think-before-you-talk” checklist. I expect I will soon be a woman of few(er) words myself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Cindy says:

      I’m happy to say this is getting easier all of the time..and you’re right..immediate sharing was just a habit I had developed most often propelled by the emotion of the minute. I mean when I saw that tile quote ($3,700!!) I almost fell off my chair—and wanted to vent to my husband..like that second! But I took a moment -just a moment- to think..ok, so he;s in a rush, running late, he’s got a long drive, he’s going to immediately say something like “Well that’s nuts- I’m doing it myself!”..and on and on..so I said nothing. Here’s hoping the second quote is half that..I’m still waiting for it..

      Liked by 1 person

      1. hmunro says:

        Fingers crossed that the second quote will be lower, Cindy! And I hope your husband sees this post at some point. He’ll be so proud of how thoughtful his wife is! xx

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Cindy says:

        haha! Here’s hoping..on both fronts!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. This is definitely a path I am on as well. Perhaps it’s part of turning 50, who knows, I just love this version of myself and since that’s the result , it makes the process easier . Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Cindy says:

      SSOOOOO funny …I’m always commenting that I like the older version of myself so much better..haha..sheesh, what took so long!??

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I needed to read this today. We are just over a year into our marriage, and well into renovating out second house. My hubby works 6-5 most days and I’m super guilty of burdening him with whatever info is in my head at the moment, day or night. Rereading this post until I can learn the contents!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Cindy says:

      Your second house?? Oh, God bless you guys- 😧 -wow!! I, like you, have always blurted out things in “real time”..it’s only recently that I really became aware of the mental burden I was creating, esp for my poor husband. The more I hold my tongue, the easier life gets..for everyone!

      Liked by 1 person

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