This is Us

Cremation, electrocution and other stuff..

Kids are so literal.

Years ago, when a beloved family member died, my son overheard me saying she would be cremated. A few hours later in the car he coyly brought up the subject asking “how big are the beaters?”

“How big are the beaters for what honey?” I responded, glancing in the rear-view mirror.

“How big do the beaters have to be to cremate somebody mom?”

My poor, sweet boy was envisioning dead people being tossed into some giant bowl and whipped up into a frothy cream. Can you imagine the horror?  Tormented little guy was no doubt wondering where you get tupperware containers big enough to hold..

well, just imagine.

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Not too many years later I was preparing dinner for the family and watching the newscaster on TV discussing Saddam Hussein’s crimes against humanity and his approaching trial.  At this point, he had been in jail for quite some time following his dramatic capture. My daughter was busy coloring at the table when she looked up and said “Didn’t they catch that bad guy a long time ago? What are they going to do with him?”

I told her he would most likely be sentenced to death and electrocuted for his crimes, to which my sweet angel quipped, “well, I hope they’re keeping him “on low” while he waits.”

electric-shock

(out of the mouths of babes…)

I have thought of that remark more than a few times living in a home with about 25% humidity. Seems once you put the heater on here you are doomed to dry, cracking skin, a continuously crusty nose, clothes that hug each other in the closet and worst of all a jarring jolt every time you touch anything.

I’m not exaggerating when I say I check the caller ID and calculate how badly I want to talk to someone before bracing myself for the robust shock that accompanies simply answering the phone. Turning on lights, ironing shirts, kissing my husband, even keeping up with my blog…all of these things require no small amount of thought and planning as I estimate the voltage involved in each activity.

Now if getting zapped sparked a burst of creativity, burned some calories, highlighted my hair or melted away wrinkles I’d be all for it. But no, it simply is what it is.

So  I’ll just grit my teeth, thank God that we have a heater and muscle my way through the balance of this winter- as my daughter would have described it.. “on low.” ⚡️

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photo credits: mrgrayhistory.wikispaces.com,dribbble.com, www.johnlewis.com

 

6 comments on “Cremation, electrocution and other stuff..

  1. Lol! I will never forget the time my husband and I were discussing a seriel killer in the news when our oldest was about 5 or 6 and he piped up with , “I don’t understand, how can you kill cereal? “

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ha! I love it! The idea of “keeping him on low” seems oh, so very appropriate for a whole boatload of government leaders I can think of………..

    Liked by 1 person

  3. For YEARS I was completely befuddled by euthanasia. I couldn’t understand what was so darn controversial about children in Japan and China.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You are TOO funny! 😂 I can sometimes see though how hard it must be to learn english with all of these potential, literal, misunderstandings.

    Like

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