Let’s face it, the world of lawn ornaments is split between the gnomes and the flamingos. Personally, it has been easy for me to remain neutral in this nasty conflict because look at them..they are all ugly- and tacky -and yet…there I was paying $6 for a twin pack of flamingos last Friday at the Home Depot.
After all these years I finally cast my lot.
Just as an aside, it took me quite a while to choose my birds as many of these poor creatures have misplaced black eyeballs. Regardless of the fact that there are perfectly round indentations within which to paint a simple black dot, many ‘flamingo craftsmen’ clearly do not take pride in their work and missed their marks- often by miles! Surely the US government has a department that regulates plastic flamingo production..no?
So anyway, I brought these two pink ladies home with me and put them out by my front door so they could greet each guest as they arrived for last week-end’s birthday luau. It really added a nice tropical touch, especially with leis draped around their necks. But now that the party’s over, I have these two creatures just hanging around out there on my porch and I’m not sure what to do with them.
I really don’t want to be “that mom” who buys the cute baby chicks at Easter and two weeks later gives them to the teenager next door with the pet snake. No, these flamingos lived up to their end of the bargain and I’m not going to just sell them for 5 cents at a garage sale only to have them wind up all dented and muddy, tossed in a dilapidated shed and featured in some sad commercial with music that makes you cry. Nor do I have the heart to toss them into the recycling bin…I mean I did mention that these things have eyes!
And while I do feel responsible here, make no mistake, I won’t be putting these two lovelies in my garden either… seriously, what would the neighbors think??