What’s under YOUR mattress?


Late last night I awoke with a start in the middle of a terrible nightmare. In my dream, I had a house full of movers who were boxing up all of our possessions and loading the furniture onto a truck. I kept chasing faceless men up and down my driveway asking them where we were moving. The answer was the same each time..”Can’t tell you lady, your husband said it’s a secret!”

Suddenly, I heard laughter coming from my bedroom. I ran back inside to find two men balancing my mattress on its side; one of them holding a bright red book opened up in his oversized, calloused hands. I knew right away what it was: JINGLE BELL ROCK!!  (“A collection of scintillating, short stories such as “The nut cracker” and “He sees you when you’re sleeping.”)

 I know, I know..how embarrassing!

Years ago I was at a Barnes and Noble Bookstore during the Holiday Season and decided on a whim to purchase this ‘non-traditional’ – more naughty than nice- Christmas book. Those were the innocent, 50 shades of brown days when the UPS delivery men were the objects of so much gossip and attention amongst bored housewives.   I can’t remember what even one of the stories was about, that’s how ultimately unremarkable they were. The only thing I recall is reading one of the selections to my husband on a cold, romantic, winter night and we both fell asleep half way through.

But here I was…stuck in my dream..with the movers laughing at my big secret under the mattress.

Remember the fairy tale of The Princess and the Pea? It’s one of my childhood favorites.  In it, this little girl proves she’s a princess because she is so sensitive and delicate that she can feel a pea under a pile of mattresses as she tries in vain to get comfortable enough to sleep.

Lying awake in my bed at 2 am, I felt the presence of that long forgotten Jingle Bell ‘Rock‘ under my mattress as well. I tossed and turned ..unable to get comfortable…that sordid story book poking it’s sharp edges into my conscience. I mean seriously, what if we do move? Finally, in exhausted disbelief and total desperation, I  slid out of bed,  groped around for that stupid thing,  found it,  tossed it into the trash can…and just like that…

fell back to sleep..like a princess.


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